Wednesday, January 28, 2009

NEURO-PISS

Living in London you tend to notice after a while that the tube don't work too good after half eleven or twelve at night, which sucks a massive svelte cock. Getting a taxi home can be done, but it will cost you thirty to forty quids (that's roughly.....thirty to forty Euros to you, I think, stupid credit crunch) Its better to have a few people with you or just some girl who's worth that sort of punishment hahahahahaaa. Anyway, I digress, the reason for this post is that the main way to get home at night for me at least is to get a night bus, if you're with a bunch of rugby pals from Marlboro college this can be fun and exciting and you might not even get stabbed by a Turkish gang member, but if you're on your own this can be a bit shitty.
Generally people leave you alone but the worst thing is falling asleep. Once after going out for some drinks with some friends from work, I got so drunk that I told one of the directors that I was going back to work to sleep off the drink, all of a sudden my once drunk pal sobered up and gave me a thorough telling off, I drunkenly left the bar pretty sharpies and angrily made my way home, then proceeded to fall asleep on the bus, I ended up all over London changing at the end of each line and falling asleep as soon as I got on each bus, eventually I woke up around Crystal Palace (somewhere I really wouldn't want to get off) and I really NEEDED to piss, so I whipped out me old Hampton and hosed down the back of the seat in front of me. Shameless. This has been on my mind since the weekend where I have vague recollections of waking up on the tube in the morning with a very sore jaw and pissing whilst looking some foreign geezer right in the eye. Eventually I ended up in Caterham which isn't on the tube and is way outside of London. I'm sorry guys but I needed to get that off my shoulders.... .....very badly. SOZ

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